"Ask me what's now."

The other day my friend Katie shared a blog post with me entitled "26, unmarried, and childless". Funny because I just happen to be: 1. 26, 2. unmarried, and 3. childless. The post was a really good one. You can read it yourself here but to give a few highlights.

1. Questions/comments from people like "What's next?" and "When are you going to get married?" and "Better get started!" are seemingly harmless small talk questions... but they hurt more than most people realize.

2. Us childless, unmarried 26-years-olds are quite aware of where we're at in life. We are aware that we are getting older and we are aware that the path we are on doesn't really line up with the "normal path" that everyone else is on. And sometimes it's hard.

3. This is the good part... so I thought I'd put it in the bloggers' words, because they are better than my own...

"I would like to suggest one thing, though: instead of asking me what's next, ask me what's now. Ask me what God is teaching me, ask me what I'm struggling with, or what brings me joy. I am learning, I am growing, and I am happy. I would love to tell you all about it."

What's now:

-I work for JPMorgan at a job that is a challenge right now. I'm in this weird place where I am doing the job of the people above me but management is taking their time to promote me. It's hard. But God is teaching me a lot: to be content with where he has me and to love people wherever I am, no matter what I am doing, no matter what my title is, and no matter how much I am getting paid.
-I am moving to a house with a girl I don't really know to a city that I never in a million years thought I would want to live in. I've had a great year with my current roommates, but I'm excited to live with a roommate who is more in the same stage of life as me - she, too, is 26 (ok, she's actually 27), unmarried, and childless.
-I bake a lot. The other day my friend King said, "Abby, I foresee you opening a bakery someday. No one that I know likes something to the point that it is weird like you, so I think it's going to happen." (My response, "Uh... thanks, King? You think I'm weird?") Opening a bakery falls in the "what's next" category. So right now... right now, I bake a lot.
-I love to play games.
-I love to sing.
-I love to learn how to do new things, e.g. sewing. (Unless I don't catch on quickly, then I'm pretty quick to give up. Just being honest...)
-I struggle with being single. I work with my ex-boyfriend and being around him every day is hard.
-I love my church.
-I love my family. I have been thinking lately about how incredibly proud of my three brothers I am.
-I'm learning the balance between being non-confrontational and being too "assertive." I used to run from conflict... now I'm becoming assertive. I'm not afraid to deal with things and tell people exactly what I feel and think. I fear that I'm leaning too far on the assertive side. I'm working on finding the balance.
-I get joy out of being creative and making beautiful things.
-God is teaching me more and more about his grace every day. I've just recently been digging into the fact that I feel guilty a lot. I feel like I could always love people more, or work harder, or keep my cool better, etc... and I end my day feeling guilty about it. I asked my friend April the other day, "Is it normal for Christians to feel guilty all the time? We know that we're never going to measure up... Where is the line between being humble and knowing we're not enough and feeling guilt because of it." I'm still trying to figure it out, but I'm confident that God's grace through Christ is the answer.
-I think that's enough for now... you get the picture. This is what's now.

"So please, my dear friends, don't ask me what's next. Ask me what's now."