Scrambled eggs with a side of nostalgia.

I didn't really feel like cooking a meal tonight and I didn't feel like eating leftovers... Ever been there? Some people might have fancy back ups or convenient fill ins like frozen pizza or deli meat or something. Not me. Josh likes to make fun of me because when I go grocery shopping I get enough food to make one meal... so I don't have a lot of extra food hanging around. Yes, I realize it's inefficient and yes, I realize I'm going to have to get my act together when I'm cooking for a family. But for now... it works.

I always have eggs on hand. I'm a baker - there are some things you always have on hand... Butter, various sugars, flour, cake mixes, cupcake papers... and eggs. So I made scrambled eggs!

Scrambled eggs have a special place in my heart. They remind me of growing up and the nights that Dad was in charge of dinner. A lot of times we would have something on the grill... but if he was really winging it... scrambled eggs with a side of toast. So tonight as I was "slaving away" at the stove cooking scrambled eggs it made me smile thinking of my dad. I think I'm doing alright if I'm following in his footsteps... scrambled eggs and all. (Love you, De Da!)

Perfection in a cookie.

Whoa... it's been a while! I promise my intent was not to get engaged and fall off the face of the earth... As you can imagine, things have been a bit busy. Good good stuff is happening though! (More to come on that at a later date.)

I don't have a lot to say this moment - but I did want to write to tell you about some of the best peanut butter cookies that I've ever made. I can't take credit. I strictly followed the directions laid out before me. But you should follow these directions and make some yourself because they are gooooood.

That's all. The world just needed to know - these cookies are amazing.

Soft and Chewy Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies

Just engaged!

So… I got engaged last weekend! I’ve been meaning to take some time to write it down but as you can imagine, it’s been a bit of a crazy week. Here’s the story… in case you’re curious.

Josh and I have been talking, praying, waiting on the Lord, etc. for a while to figure out what God wants for our relationship. About a month or two ago (Valentine’s Day to be exact), we had a heart to heart and I basically said, “I want to wait for you to decide… but I can’t wait forever.” He put a tentative deadline on it and decided by the end of March, we needed to make a decision – we’re either in or we’re out.

A couple of weeks ago he started acting differently – something about him made me think that he’d made a decision to go for it which meant I started reading into everything he did. (#girlproblems) Even to the point where I actually had this hunch that Tuesday of last week (we were supposed to have dinner and watch Fixer Upper) I thought he was going to propose. I ended up having to work late that night and it didn’t work out to hang out, so... no proposal. (That wasn’t his plan anyway…) Other conversations with him, my mom, and others made me think that he was going to do it. Then on Friday night, we had dinner with my parents and something about their conversation made me think that I was wrong all along and had been reading into things that weren’t there.

So after dinner, we went back to my place and watched some Fixer Upper (that’s our new thing). He could tell I was down and asked how I was doing. I just laid it out there, “We said the end of March and it’s almost the end of March. We’re running out of time. Are you any closer to making a decision on our future?” He replied with a VERY convincing, “I don’t know, Abby…” “Well, if you don’t know now, you’re not going to know in a week, so we might as well just end it.” “Let’s just get through this weekend with your family and we’ll deal with it later.” I was SO discouraged.

The next day I texted my mom something like, “You could pray for me – I’m really in a funk. Had a hard talk with Josh last night and I don’t think he’s any closer to being ready. I am afraid I’m going to have to end it.” She responded with normal encouraging, godly mom-like things. I met them for lunch without Josh and was just sad… They were sympathetic but didn’t say much. Josh joined us later in the day to watch the Oklahoma and KU basketball games (RIP Jayhawks AND Sooners...) and in his words, “You were cooold.” We watched the games then headed home and confession – I cried the whole way home in anticipation of having to end this relationship.

Then Sunday came. We did church together and had plans to drive to Olathe to have an Easter lunch with my extended family. I was just trying to focus on Easter and what Jesus did on the cross because that’s bigger and better than any of my earthly woes. Josh told me that he had to be the closer after church so we had to wait til everyone cleared out and then turn off lights, lock up, etc. He asked me to help him turn off the lights so we walked in the sanctuary and I noticed that the light behind the stage was still on so I walked back there to turn it off. When I came back out to the stage…

He was on one knee with a ring in his hands! I’m not 100% sure what was said after that. I cried and definitely exclaimed some things like, “Oh my gosh! Are you serious? Oh my gosh! Are you sure?” and he didn’t say anything. Then me, in my typical direct fashion, said, “So… are you going to ask me?” He asked, “Will you marry me?” I said yes, we said I love you for the first time, and the rest is history! Then I looked around and our friend King was there taking pictures. We chatted a bit then headed to Olathe where we were greeted by my parents – who knew all along because Josh chatted with my dad the few weeks leading up to it – and the rest of my family who celebrated with us as we walked in the door.

There's a guitar in the way... but this is him proposing. (Unfortunate angle but you get the gist!)

I was pretty excited...

Awkward kissing picture... 

 Telling the story to my family... with a truck as our stage.

We’re engaged! Still can’t really believe it. Can’t believe that I went from thinking that I was sadly going to have to move on, to happily starting to plan the rest of my life with this guy!

Simply and perfectly beautiful. He couldn't have picked a better one for me.

(Now on to wedding planning. I’m going to apologize in advance – this blog may be a little wedding centric over the next 6 months. But let’s do this!)

Insecurity.

(Warning: super emo post.)

I've been struggling with insecurity lately. I know, we all struggle with insecurities... But lately it seems as though I've been letting it affect my life more than it has in the past.

I would say that if you would have asked me a few years ago, "What would have to happen to make you feel good about yourself?" I would have answered: 1. Lose weight. 2. Get a boyfriend. Well... about 2 years ago I started losing weight and dating someone. I felt good about myself... for a while. But the, "Wow! You look great!"s have stopped coming because my weight loss is old news. And as great as Josh is, his newness has also worn off and I've started putting this unfair weight on the things he does or doesn't say. Basically... I'm back at square one and I'm a mess.

I have started reading the book "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. (If that doesn't sound like a self-help book... I don't know what does.) I read it a few years ago but I'm back for more... She wrote:

"We all have insecurities. They piggyback on the vulnerability inherent in our humanity. The question is whether or not our insecurities are substantial enough to hurt, limit, or even distract us from profound effectiveness or fulfillment of purpose. Are they cheating us of the powerful and abundant life Jesus flagrantly promised? Do they nip at our heels all the way from the driveway to the workplace? Scripture claims that believers in Christ are enormously gifted people. Are our insecurities snuffing the Spirit until our gifts, for all practical purposes, are largely unproductive or, at the very least, tentative?"

If I'm being honest... this is where I'm at. I'm disappointed that I let myself get here. I know better than to put my hope and worth in anything other than the Lord yet I do it time and time again. So I'm working on it... Side by side with Christ I'm digging into this. No resolution yet... I'm still a work in progress - and always will be. But I just thought I'd write to say insecurities suck - and if you struggle like I do - maybe it's time you start poking holes in yours because they could be preventing you from being and doing what God has called you and created you to be and do. Let's do this.

(You can't say I didn't warn you...)

Almond Poppyseed Bread.

We had our monthly family birthday party today and because it was in the morning we opted for brunch food. I looove me some brunch. I signed up to bring a sweet bread or cinnamon rolls. I also looove me some cinnamon rolls but decided I didn't want to go through the hassle of letting the dough rise, rolling them out, baking them, frosting them, etc... So I went the easy route: sweet bread.

One of my favorite sweet bread recipes is one that I found a few years ago for Almond Poppyseed Bread (or at least that's what I call it). It's super easy and has always been a hit. The family loved it today as well and I had a couple of them ask for the recipe so I figured it'd share it with you all, just in case you're in the search of the perfect sweet bread. (Since I know... that's something all of you are in searching of, right? Nope? Just me?)

Anyway, here it is: Almond Poppyseed Bread. Get to it!

Florida.

Last week I went to West Palm Beach with my Florida with my parents. It was a great trip - lots of relaxation, time on the beach, and spending time with two of my favorite people.

Of course the beach was beautiful as always... Here are some of my favorite shots from the week.

Food Beauty.

For some reason... food has looked pretty beautiful to me lately. No... not because I love to eat. It just has hit me as beautiful at different times over the last few weeks.

So yes... I'm that person. That person who takes pictures of her food. But how can you resist? What a cool world we live in that we get to eat delicious, beautiful things like this!