Insecurity.

(Warning: super emo post.)

I've been struggling with insecurity lately. I know, we all struggle with insecurities... But lately it seems as though I've been letting it affect my life more than it has in the past.

I would say that if you would have asked me a few years ago, "What would have to happen to make you feel good about yourself?" I would have answered: 1. Lose weight. 2. Get a boyfriend. Well... about 2 years ago I started losing weight and dating someone. I felt good about myself... for a while. But the, "Wow! You look great!"s have stopped coming because my weight loss is old news. And as great as Josh is, his newness has also worn off and I've started putting this unfair weight on the things he does or doesn't say. Basically... I'm back at square one and I'm a mess.

I have started reading the book "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. (If that doesn't sound like a self-help book... I don't know what does.) I read it a few years ago but I'm back for more... She wrote:

"We all have insecurities. They piggyback on the vulnerability inherent in our humanity. The question is whether or not our insecurities are substantial enough to hurt, limit, or even distract us from profound effectiveness or fulfillment of purpose. Are they cheating us of the powerful and abundant life Jesus flagrantly promised? Do they nip at our heels all the way from the driveway to the workplace? Scripture claims that believers in Christ are enormously gifted people. Are our insecurities snuffing the Spirit until our gifts, for all practical purposes, are largely unproductive or, at the very least, tentative?"

If I'm being honest... this is where I'm at. I'm disappointed that I let myself get here. I know better than to put my hope and worth in anything other than the Lord yet I do it time and time again. So I'm working on it... Side by side with Christ I'm digging into this. No resolution yet... I'm still a work in progress - and always will be. But I just thought I'd write to say insecurities suck - and if you struggle like I do - maybe it's time you start poking holes in yours because they could be preventing you from being and doing what God has called you and created you to be and do. Let's do this.

(You can't say I didn't warn you...)

Almond Poppyseed Bread.

We had our monthly family birthday party today and because it was in the morning we opted for brunch food. I looove me some brunch. I signed up to bring a sweet bread or cinnamon rolls. I also looove me some cinnamon rolls but decided I didn't want to go through the hassle of letting the dough rise, rolling them out, baking them, frosting them, etc... So I went the easy route: sweet bread.

One of my favorite sweet bread recipes is one that I found a few years ago for Almond Poppyseed Bread (or at least that's what I call it). It's super easy and has always been a hit. The family loved it today as well and I had a couple of them ask for the recipe so I figured it'd share it with you all, just in case you're in the search of the perfect sweet bread. (Since I know... that's something all of you are in searching of, right? Nope? Just me?)

Anyway, here it is: Almond Poppyseed Bread. Get to it!

Florida.

Last week I went to West Palm Beach with my Florida with my parents. It was a great trip - lots of relaxation, time on the beach, and spending time with two of my favorite people.

Of course the beach was beautiful as always... Here are some of my favorite shots from the week.

Food Beauty.

For some reason... food has looked pretty beautiful to me lately. No... not because I love to eat. It just has hit me as beautiful at different times over the last few weeks.

So yes... I'm that person. That person who takes pictures of her food. But how can you resist? What a cool world we live in that we get to eat delicious, beautiful things like this!

Valentine's Day.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Josh treated me pretty stinking well - gave me a card, wrote me a poem (yes, a poem!), gave me a picture of us in a cute (mustard colored - my favorite!) picture frame, gave me sunflower seeds (the kind you plant, not eat) because he looked all over for sunflowers and couldn't find any, brought me a donut and coffee... I mean, seriously, that's good, right?

I also saw this cheesy sign that a church down the street put up. We've got quite a few churches around here who like to put cheesy sayings on their signs that they think will entice people to walk in the doors like, "Honk if you love " or "There are some questions that can't be answered by google." Anyway, this sign, as cheesy as it was, kind of struck me. It said:

"Since time began I have loved you. Happy Valentine's Day, Jesus."

Cheesy it may be... it was a good reminder of the ultimate love. Yes, love on this earth is great... but there is nothing that compares to the love of Jesus.

(P.S. The really cool print I got above is from Normal Human. Thanks for the tip, Valeria!)

A new favorite.

I know you're not really supposed to have favorites... but my favorite Christmas present this year was from Josh - he got me an original painting from my dear friend and favorite artist Megan. Over the past few weeks I've been trying to figure out how I wanted to hang it and I found the piece on the left at a local art shop in St. Louis this past weekend and it all came together in my mind. I'd also seen the idea on Pinterest of an artist who had made some geometric pieces so I stole that idea to make something small that tied in the simplicity of the quote and the color of Megan's painting.

Anyway, it makes me happy every time a look at it so I thought I'd write about it. A big thanks to Josh and Megan for the lovely gift.

(To check out more of Meg's work, here are her Etsy, Minted, and Facebook pages. She's pretty amazing...)

Good friends.

I went and visited my friend Valeria in St. Louis this weekend. It was a way overdue trip and I spontaneously decided to make it happen the weekend before. Luckily Valeria (and her husband Jonathan who was out of town the majority of the weekend) are gracious and equally spontaneous hosts so it worked out!

V and Jon are special friends. We all became fast friends in the first weeks of our freshman year of college and despite the distance and time, the second I walked in their home and we were reunited it felt like old times. Confession: I suck at keeping in touch with people. But I am so thankful for good friends like them that you don't see forever but it feels like you didn't really skip a beat. I always thought it was funny when people said that about their friends - but Valeria and Jonathan are living proof that it can happen. I'm blessed enough to have friends like that!

Jon had to leave Saturday morning for a business trip but V and I got to do things that I love to do. Eat good food at some fun restaurants in the city, go shopping, watch chick flicks, catch up... It was just a great weekend. Thanks, V, for letting me come and visit!